My-Famous-I-Haven't-Seen-It-Yet-Movie-Review

Famous? Well, it should be. I'm gonna talk about Stuperman. It's set to be in theaters on June 30, I believe so I've been seeing the commercials everytime the television is on.

What do I think? I think it stinks! I haven't even seen the movie and I'm already disapointed. I thought Stuperman was going to get an update, like the X-men. The X-men were updated in a very cool way, tossing the traditional yellow and blue spandex uniforms from the comics fot black almost-leather-material.

What did they do to update Stuperman? Nothing, as far as I can tell. He's still got the Captain Underpants look with that goofy curl in the middle of his forehead.

Makes me wanna chase after him with a pair of scissors real bad.

And what's the deal with the title: Superman Returns

In the commercials, it looks like this is Stuperman's coming of age story, his origin, if you will. What's he returning from, lack of fans?

Shawn and I both thought it might continue the story of the Doomsday character from the comics where Stuperman "died" and came back (returns) with long hair but sadly, no updated costume.

I am not getting my hopes up on this one.

For your enjoyment, here's a list of comic characters they screwed up in the movies:

Daredevil--an atrocity to pick Ben Affleck! Ugh...

Elecktra--What did they do to her costume?! That chick is way to cute to be playing an assasin, don't even get me started on the movie version of Elektra's background. I mean, the Kingpin? C'mon.

Catwoman--Halley Berry? Ok, I guess it's kinda cool that we're updating all the white characters that were created during segregation, but Halley Berry?! The woman overacted more than Sharon Stone and that's hard to pull off.
(on an intersting note, Berry said that to prepare for the role of Catwoman she viewed "hours and hours of footage on cats". Life is too darn short, people)

Did anyone see the original Punisher movie with Dolph Lundron? That movie is a RIOT! He even saves a bus load of kids! Ha ha!

Well, you knew it was coming.... (drum roll)

Two out of five Batman Movies! They were so willing to milk that cash cow that they actually put nipples on Batman and Robin's suits! Meanwhile prepubescent boys worldwide were wondering why they didn't put nipples on Batgirl's suit.
Makes me miss Micheal Keaton.

But ok, I'll give it to ya, the latest Batman with Christian Bale was good, though a bit long. I coulda done without Katie Holmes, though. Couldn't we all?

Stuperman opens on June 30: Don't waste yer money.