Inside Voices, Please

My TV has a volume button on it. Most newer models do. My TV knows when I push that button. Most newer models do.

Inquiring minds want to know: How does my TV know when a commercial is aired?

I am sure you've noticed this. The sound on the TV is comfortable until the program goes to commercial and then BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whether you've stepped out of the room or not, it startles you and you're almost sure the neighbors can hear it too.

Technology is strange. When DVDs were first coming out and we'd rent a video, there would be an ad for DVD before the Feature Presentation. The ad would go on and on about the picture and sound. It offered up scenes of explosions and grand music.

There's a problem with the audio on VHS tapes that my Dad has griped about for years. I call it the Whisper-Boom effect. This is when you watch a movie and you've got the TV turned half way up but can barely hear the dialogue; it's like everyone's whispering. You keep turning up the volume just to be able to barely hear a few words when--BOOM!!!! Something explodes on screen and in your ear drums. But as soon as the explosion of gun shots is over, the sound suddenly goes back to inaudible tones.

Did you turn the volume down, you silly person? No, no! It's the movie! So we expected that would all change with DVD. It's greater technology than the silly VHS of yesteryear; it's enhanced.

Three-fourths of all the DVDs that Shawn and I own are Whisper-Boom movies. It's this sort of nonsense that merely wears out the batteries on our remote control. Thank God for the remote. I'd be getting way too much exercise with these Whisper-Boom movies. There'd I be, getting up to turn the volume up or down as needed, constantly on my feet and never quite enjoying the movie.

And still, we never do quite enjoy the movie because I'm always griping about how loud it suddenly got in here, or... what? Wait. What'd he say? Why is she mad?
Aw! Rewind it! I didn't get any of that!!

We've placed men on the moon, for goodness' sake! Can't we watch a movie without the actors whispering before the screen practically cracks from the plane crash being viewed on it? What happened to the so-called technology?

I think it may just be a ploy to get you to wear out the buttons on your remote so you'll have to buy a new one. It's a total conspiracy.