Illegal in 27 States

Every Christmas and Thanksgiving, Shawn's mom makes homemade rolls from scratch. I got the recipe from her last year and made a batch. Of course I was hurried, didn't let the dough rise for very long and wound up baking a pan of golden-brown goo. Pretty, but not very edible.

I tried it again last weekend. They came out beautifully! So much so, that I decided I need to take photos in order to document this wondrous, glorious achievement in my attempts at baking. I thought, domestically challenged? Me? Nah! Martha Stewart, eat your heart out.

Then we bit into them. This rolls are so hard and so dry, you could kill a person with one if you threw it at the right velocity.

I've about given up. I'm no baker. I like to pan fry, deep fry, broil, boil, and sear. I don't bake. Never have.

I'm gonna have to very discreetly get rid of these rolls being that we have a cop living on our street. I'm pretty sure the rolls are illegal in Texas.