What Day Is This?

I haven't slept all week. We started the week with 6 Vikodens left over from my wisdom tooth extraction in 2005. I have to argue and fight with Shawn to take one. Nights are pretty rough. He's in a lot of pain at night. One night I slept a combined total of about four hours. Typically he wakes up in pain every hour or so and tries to be quiet for my benefit. I'm a light sleeper and I can't just not be affected.

I feel horrible because there's nothing I can do for him. He didn't ask for any pain medication at his last appointment and they didn't offer any. He hates pills. Says, "I'm don't do drugs, man." Stupid donkey...
Yesterday was pretty rough. For starters, it was Mike's last day. At noon he came up and hugged all us girls, regardless of how sweaty we all were. But then, he was just as sweaty. I could feel the backs of my eyes stinging and looked at Christina. She was fighting the same battle.

I never had a work buddy who didn't stab me in the back almost immediately. Mike was the first work buddy I ever had who treated me like a friend. It's gonna be lonely at work.

I was exhausted. Running on no sleep. It caught up with me. That changed. You see, when I finish in my area, I move on to other areas to help out so we can get the heck outta there. I usually wind up on a press where there is little air.

And it seems that some people have observed that when I am especially angry, I press really, really fast. I have no where to put this energy of rage, so the adrenaline kicks in and I press the clothes with lightening speed. Hulk angry! Arrrrghhhh

Sometimes it seems people deliberately push my buttons in exactly the right way to get me going so we can clock out sooner. One comment was all it took to send me over the edge. And over the edge I fell. For the most part, I kept my mouth shut save for one reply to one nasty comment. As always, I put the angry energy into just getting the #$%@ out of that place.

I'd had it. I was tired. Worried. Hot and sweaty and all I wanted to do was go home.

When I did get off work, I had several errands to run on very little gas--literally for my car, figuratively for myself.
It seemed everyone I got behind was 83 and driving a speed of 3 mph. I had to follow a VERY old man all the way from the bank to grocery store doing Mach Minus Ten. Couldn't get around him. Once at the store, he just stopped. STOPPED! FOR NO REASON AT ALL!!
Some pedestrians exit the store and see me red in the face mouthing, "GO!! GO!! GO!!"

The car windows were rolled up, but they might have heard me. They decided to walk as far around my car as possible for their own safety. The old man got going to a whopping 3 mph and I had no where left to place my frustrated energy. "OH GOD!! WHY ARE YOU TESTING ME???" All I wanted was to go home.

After I finished everything, I ran out to my mom's house (half hour on road there) and she let me have some of her Vikodens and some arthritis pills (which are non-narcotic). She suggested that maybe the doctors didn't offer pain meds to Shawn was so he didn't feel good enough to run around and dance a jig, making his knee worse. Maybe so, but the human body requires sleep. My human body requires sleeps.

Left my folks' house and started for home (another half hour on the road). I forgot to mention that all the way out to Mom's house that I bawled like a three month old baby. Normally, I might throw something or punch a wall. But I was driving and had no where to put all my emotions. And it was a lot of emotions. The people in front of me driving like turtles didn't help. They didn't understand I'd been saving up these emotions for a solid week. If they did, they might have checked their insurance rates.

Home. Sweet, sweet, lovely home. I'd been away from it for over 12 hours. It felt like 27.
"I come bearing drugs and barbecue!" I said cheerfully as I greeted Shawn.

Did he take any? Of course not. At bedtime, did he take anything? Absolutely not.

If Shawn was in pain last night--I certainly didn't know about it. I slept for eight and a half hours.
Yes, a solid, straight sleep. Totally dead to the world.
Who knows? Maybe I'll post something funny today.