Help! I'm Stoned and I Can't Find the Remote Control!!

"What's on TV tonight?" I ask Mike.

"NOTHING!!!" Mike says. Poor guy doesn't have cable, but he cuts lawns on the side and has a serious girlfriend with a two-year-old so his life is pretty full.

We discussed "The Singing Bee". Amongst several other shows like it--I don't know which was the first and that's really not the point because I do not care--it simply displays a random bunch of hicks acting like fools on national television.

The latest version has the hicks singing (badly) to songs in hopes of getting the lyrics correct and maybe winning some cash.

The newspaper said that "The Singing Bee" was the top watched program for the past two weeks. "Who watches these shows?" I asked Mike.

"It's like a bunch of stoners are sitting around watching these ignorant programs and they've all lost the remote control and they're too lazy to turn the channel. Otherwise, why would they be watching?" I make a pretty good point, if I do say so myself.

Who let all these stoners have the Nielson boxes, anyway?

I'll be glad when "Heroes" is back.