DAY TWO

Day two is always easier than one. Even though yesterday was pretty rough, it was the easiest day one I've had. I pray it's my last day one.

Though not proud, I will admit I had about 7 cigarettes yesterday. Yes, while being on the patch and chewing the gum. Hope I don't fall into a coma (ever see that movie Thank You For Smoking?) Of course on a normal work day, I'd smoke 40 to 50. I am proud that I only had 7.

Shawn had 6 all day and is otherwise going cold turkey. He never uses an aid. He's a stubborn donkey.

When I woke him up yesterday, I told him I was chewing the nictoen gum as well.

"You're using the patch and the gum?" he asked, suprised.

"Shawn, I smoke 2 and 1/2 packs a day! I think I can handle it!" I laughed.



A friend of Mom's was trying quit a few years ago. Her teenage son found his mother on her hands and knees in the dark back yard with a flash light. "Mom, what are you doing?" he asked. She was searching the ground for cigarette butts.

We are a sad bunch.

Mom's other friend, Lola, has been quit for about 2 years now, I think. She was a HEAVY smoker. She couldn't even make it through an hour of church without wanting so she began to chew the nicotene gum during church and light up directly after.

By the gum is how she quit, but now she's adicted to the gum. "Now, I just gotta figure out how to get off the gum!" Lola laughs.

"You're not tearing up your lungs; chew the gum!" Mom says.

Of course, I wonder if you can get mouth cancer from the gum like with chewing tobacco.




Yesterday was a roller coaster. I was wired up, hyper as I've ever been. Then, for about three hours, I wanted to hit someone in the face. Anyone. Didn't matter to me. I may or may not have thrown something, depending on who may or may not have seen me do it. Then, for several hours, I couldn've laid on the bare concrete floor at work and taken a real deep nap. All I wanted was sleep.

Then, ran my errands, saw someone smoking in Wal0Mart parking lot and it smelled DELICIOUS. I fantasized about snatching that cigarette from his hand and running while laughing all the way. I smacked a piece of Bubble Yum and went on my way. Once home, I was super hyper again and yacked on the phone and to Shawn. And finally, Super Tired.



Some people gain weight when they quit. I think I'm gonna get super skinny--another added benefit. I just haven't felt like eating--at all. At work, I forced myself to eat my turkey sandwich in about 3 sittings. For supper, Shawn and I split one of those little Totino's Pizzas. All in all, I had about 600 calories all day, plus whatever sugar I put into my 6 cups of coffee.

Yeah, that's right! I'm back up to drinking too much coffee. What of it? One demon at a time, alright? Let me quit smoking, then I'll cut back on the caffine.

Caffiene is not that bad compared to smoking. And anyway, I gotta have something.