Eh? Where'd That Come From?

My husband thinks I'm silly for this. I think I'm silly for putting this out there.

But I really want to know!! (I'm way too lazy to go looking it up. In fact, I'm not sure the info is out there)

Ok, as a baby we are born with hair: peach fuzz, eye lashes, a mop o' curls, etc.
When we reach a certain age, and it's different for everyone, we get hair where there was no hair before. I understand arm hair and leg hair is to protect our skin form the sun's UV rays. And to simplify things and to keep this from becoming dirty...

Why on earth do we suddenly grow arm pit hair? My arm pits rarely stare up at the sun, therefore, they don't need protecting. What's it for? To catch sweat?

Ha ha! No, we sweat as children, too. Why is it so different than my other hair? The hairs on my arms are brown and straight. The hair on my head is brown and...
Well, it does whatever it wants to depending on the humidity. For the most part, it is straight. So why is the hair under my arms that suddenly appeared out of no where on day, several years ago, so dark and coarse and curly?

And how does it know that I shave it? If i cut the hair, it knows. It becomes angry and lashes out saying, "Bwah-HA-HA!! Wearing a sleeveless shirt today? I'll be back by 3pm!!"

However, if i didn't cut the hair, it would grow to a certain point and stop. Now, common sense tells me that if stopped shaving my armpits, that the hair would continue to grow until it was to my knees. But that's obviously not the case.

The hair on my fore arms are apparently on the same wave length. Once, when I was very young, I took scissors to my arm hair, and lo and behold! It knew it had been cut and grew back to the exact same length that is was before I had even thought about scissors.

It just doesn't make any sense to me. And now (drum roll please) for the dirty!

Does anyone out there "get" pubic hair? It is completely and utterly useless. If you think armpits don't need protecting from UV rays, then this is certainly an area that will hardly ever see the light of day.
Unless you prefer the nude beaches in France.

Seriously, what is it there for other than to be a place for lice to hide? (Not that I'd know--but I've heard. I did take health class in high school) And why doesn't it look like the straight brown hair on top of my head?

That's one thing they don't explain in health class--the "why" of it all. They just tell, Oh, you're going to get this and that, and you'll experience a little of this....

But never the "why" of it all.

While we're on this sort of topic, I'd like to bring up the fact that you get even more hair when you're older. Way past puberty, I mean.

Besides the fact that men grow hair on their back and in their ears... You know what I'm talking about. You've seen the lady at the grocery store you can single out from 12 aisles away. She didn't used to have a mustache. But she does now! Personally, I would want to be told, even by a complete stranger, if I had a big sloppy booger rolling down my face. It might save me future embarrassment.

As a woman, I am dying inside to tell this poor lady that she has a prominent mustache sprouting from her upper lip. (And I'd also like to point out that one, single 2 inch hair poking out from her chin) How do you strike up this conversation? And doesn't she know about the extra hair? Surely she had mirrors in her home because her make-up is so perfectly placed.

Why are woman expected to use harsh burning creams when a man can just shave? Women of the world! Hear me! Stop shelling out $14.99 for that cream and buy a bottle of $1.99 shaving cream!!

Which brings to another good point. A woman is expected to spend countless hours within her lifetime to rid every single bit of hair from her body. A man is not. He can leave the house looking scruffy, with hair poking out from ALL directions of his face and that--THAT is considered sexy.

My husband and I were watching the very first season of Survivor, way back when. They showed a woman in shorts and her legs were hairy. My oh-so-sensitive husband says, "Eww..."

And I remember this quite well. You know why? Because it was a STUPID thing to say. The poor girl is living in the wilderness where every and any little open scratch on her flesh might potentially pose a threat of infection. Her entire body was covered in bug bites and she hasn't eaten in like, 3 days. I seriously doubt that she's concerned with scrounging around for things to make a razor with.
Pathetic.

Ever wander over into the razor section of the store? There are 20 billion different types of creams and foams and lotions for men. Look over the section for women. There are a handful of lady's razors and they are all PINK! Give me the man's razor with, what is it now, six--SIX friggin' blades!!

What in the world does a man, or anybody need with six blades on one razor?! I have way more surface area to cover than you, buddy!

Let's use an example. My husband shaves about once a month and it's usually 2.8 seconds after I've cleaned the bathroom sink. I shave every day. I shave my armpits every night in the shower, I shave my legs about every 2 days, and I occasionally trim that useless hair that's, um, down there. Hey, I sweat a lot at work, and it's much cooler this way. I'm allowed.
I trim my eyebrows, I pluck stray hairs; I exume the "peach fuzz" on my upper lip that becomes increasingly darker as I age.


Don't you think there ought to be a few more razors for me to choose from? I know, I know. I could simply just buy a man's razor for myself, right? (but then the husband might steal it and leave hair all up in it--ha!) But that's not the point. There's principalities involved here people! Yeah, that's right, I said it. Principalities. And no, it is not a typo.

I don't need 12 million different types of shampoos and hand lotions to choose from. What I want is a rechargeable, waterproof, nick-proof, with it's own little charging base and cleaning station shaver of my own! One that actually works, too. And I DO NOT want it to be pink.