sights & smells

i have tendonitis in thumb and wrist--hard to type so just deal with it. Not in pain now as long as i hold my thumb just right. So, keeping this short.

Shawn wears a knee brace and these things tend to get kind of rank pretty quickly. I used to periodically wash it in sink but stopped--figured he was quite capable of doing himself. He is, of course--he just doesn't.

So shawn was commenting on the odor emitting from his brace. I swear I actually saw stink lines coming out of it. He saw me spraying my own brace with girly scents and asked me to buy him some spray deoderant for his brace. (because he's a man who refuses to actually clean anything)

"What sort of smell do you want?" I asked.
"something manly" he says.
"You want me to pick your smell?! I would never ask you to pick my smell!" I said. How unfair is that? How do you pick a smell for somebody else? I knew it had to be cheap because he would rarely or never use it. And he was quite clear about not wanting to smell musty or like a cheap teenager. Colonge was out of the question because I knew he'd never use that. I have to sometimes remind him to place underarm deoderant on, for crying out loud.

"At least I got you off the Brute," I sighed.
"What? It's a manly scent!" Shawn says. "BRUTE! It says: MAN."
"It says, 'I stink'" Shawn has never shopped for himself. His mother bought him Brute, so he wore Brute. Here's a tip for you men out there: Brute stinks. And yes, it's OK to shop for your own underpants rather than trading mom for wife to do it.

"Just wash it!" i say after this repeating conversation about the funky brace.
"I will this weekend," he says and this weekend comes and goes, followed by two months until I am asked to purchase an item that is completely unnecessary.

Finances are tight so I poured some fabric softener and water into a spray bottle. I asked shawn: "Did you want a smell of your own, or just something to cover up the funk on your brace?"
"Just for the brace," he says.
"Ok, I put a bottle of fab softener on the counter. It doesn't smell manly, but it smells clean."
"OK," shawn says, "I'll use some tonight."

that was five days ago and the brace is beginning to walk around on its own. I have to sleep with one eye open for fear that the thing will attack me in my sleep.

Sigh.