It's hard working two jobs. Just ask millions of Americans. I was thinking of this one day at work because most superheroes have two jobs. But at least we get paid for our second jobs on a minimum wage, hourly basis. Most superheroes have jobs at a newspaper. I don't know why, but it's rule if you want to be popular.
Take Spider-Man, for example. He works for a newspaper, has a girlfriend/wife, depending on what comic your reading I suppose, AND has a full time gig as a superhero. Being a superhero doesn't pay much. In fact, it doesn't pay anything. So, how does Spider-Man pay for his tights, his hospital bills? Because you know being a free lance photographer doesn't come with health insurance.
And to top it all off, after a hard day's work.... he's gotta put up with this:
So what about Superman? Sure, he's got everyone fooled. Human beings must be the stupidest animals on the planet because they can't differentiate between eye glasses and a stupid greaser curl in the middle of the forehead. At least dogs have a sense of smell and could tell you, "Yep, that's still Clark Kent. I can smell him from here. Don't let the missing glasses fool you. Oh sure, there's a nifty curl in his hair now, and a giant S on his chest, but I'm telling you....that's Clark Kent!!"
Still, poor old Clark has a full time gig as a reporter--not exactly set hours of 9 to 5 if you wanna get the scoop. He also has a girlfriend and a Fortress of Solitude to maintain. And you know his job doesn't pay well because he's not very good at it.
Let me show up late all the time. Let me try to get away with disappearing constantly. I probably wouldn't have a job to show up late for. At least, not for very long. And yet, Clark seems to keep his status of employment. But I guarantee you, he ain't gettin' any raises any time soon.
Clark doesn't need to worry about health insurance--he is Superman, after all. But he still has to eat and pay rent and somehow manage to pay the heating bill at the Fortress of Solitude.
Makes you wonder how these guys are doing it all!
Batman? We won't get into Batman. He's rich. Filthy, stinkin' rich. He doesn't work. All he has to do is tinker with electronics that could probably benefit us all in our daily lives, but he chooses to keep them to himself. And then he goes out and plays with his toys with all the neighborhood villains.
Must be nice to be Batman. I bet all the other superheros hate him just because he's never had a steady girlfriend or full time job, and has all those neat toys that he won't share with anyone. I bet some of those toys would make Spidey's life a whole lot easier.
It's funny to see what rich people do with their time once they get bored with life.
Shrek?! Oh Lord, how did that get in here? In the superhero world, I would like to introduce the bum of superheros. He doesn't work and is essentially homeless (he does live in a swamp) and penniless, with a family to support. But I'll bet he has a seething hatred for Batman as well. At least he could join the Bridge Club with the other guys and steam over how Batman has it so good.
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