Downward Spiral

Anyone who knows me, knows that I can eat a LOT. I can easily put a buffet restaurant out of business in one sitting. I eat when I'm depressed, full, or simply bored. Anyone who knows me, knows I can pack it away with no regrets.

"Where do you put it all?" I am often asked.
"How do you not weight 500 pounds?" I hear again and again.

I'm very active and usually very energetic. I just don't stop.

Until recently. All You Can Eat types rejoice! No, go ahead and rejoice. I've been severely depressed lately. I haven't been eating. I average about 500 calories a day and 200 of those are from a Slim Fast drink because I decided that I should try to get something in my gut.

Normally, I eat to make myself feel better. I don't feel like eating. At all. The Chinese place down the road has been asking around. The owners thought I died.

No, still here. Just no appetite whatsoever. My body aches. All I want to do is crawl into bed and be warm and watch cartoons.

I blame it on winter, work, family, home, holidays, stress, traffic, lines, eBay related stuff, more lines, and daily life in general.

I bought a pair of jeans yesterday for a Christmas party.

Size 1. Yup. Although I recently read in a magazine that all clothing manufacturers are making clothes the same size, but labeling them smaller to make all us fat Americans feel better about ourselves.

So I don't know what to make of it. I've lost a few pounds since Thanksgiving. Usually happens this time of year due to stress. Don't think it's fair that I don't lose weight in summer. Not that I'd be caught dead in a bathing suit anyhow.

Everyone merely suspects that I am tired. Lack of sleep, Christmas shopping, whatever. And that's fine by me. I'm too tired and achy to put up a front.

No jokes. No pranks at work. Whatever....