From the Files of Kathy's Emails

I actually had to look at this pic a couple times. I thought somone simply drew over a lanscape photo. Look closer though. Kathy's title was, "God's way of saying Have a Nice Day!"

This is an old joke, but still very classic:

Pecans In The Cemetery
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old
pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day,
two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts & sat down by
the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,"
said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward
the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle.
As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside
the cemetery.

He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he
heard: "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and
rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a
cane, hobbling along.

"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what
I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery
dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to
walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to
the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me.
One for you, one for me..."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth.
Let's see if we can see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they
peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything.

The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the
fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the
Lord. At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all.
Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes
ahead of the boy on the bike.

And now....a very short joke....

I rear-ended a car this morning. I tell you, I knew right then and there that it was going to be a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and wouldn't you know it! He was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said, 'I am NOT happy!'

So I said, 'Well then, which one ARE you?'
That's how the fight started.