Friday's Yard Work

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm not Hank Hill. I am allergic to most everything in our yard. I even found a new thing!

With a fresh saw blade, I returned to the alley and chopped at a giant weed-looking thing with orange flowers. At soon as I began to cut it's thick stocks I felt asthmatic. And I don't even have asthma! I couldn't breathe!

All the more reason to cut it away. I accidentally cut into the chain link fence trying to get at a vine as thick as my own arm. And no, Shawn doesn't know about it. Shhh. I tried to cut down a small, ugly tree and half way through it, realized it had grown with the fence in it. yeah, the fence was inside the small tree.

I cut down all the ugly bushes in the front and realized that it looked better with the ugly bushes there. Now you can see the ugly part of the house. Stupid Misty.

Well, at least the neighbor's god didn't get out.

I got hit on by a ten year old walking home from school. "Hey baby, you need some help?"
I thought about asking if his mommy let him work power tools. Instead, without even looking up, I said, "Maybe when you're all grown-up." His friends all laughed at him.

Too late, I had realized they might have been able to carry all the bushes and limbs to the curb for me, to speed things up. $5 can get a lot of work out of a kid. By the time I came up with this idea, they were long gone. Duh Misty. Duh.

It's Sunday and I still feel like someone beat the living tar outta me. My shoulder really hurts and I'm really starting to wish I had offered to pay those kids to help out.

Psst. Hey kid...yeah you... c'mere. I've got some used video games! Was gonna sell 'em on eBay, but I'll let ya have one for some yard work. Addictive? Naw! It's just good fun!

Of course, with the work I was doing, I might get charges pressed against me for breaking child labor laws.