More of Kathy's Jokes

Matt requested some more jokes and I am exhausted from work and home...will get more jokes soon and will start blogging again very soon! I'm too tired to even eat right now...
Here's some jokes from Kathy (she's is pastor's wife so most jokes are Christian humor) I have many more jokes of all genres but for now you can check my One Liners section (look for the Calvin & Hobbes on the right hand side column)


Church Phone
A man in Topeka , Kansas , decided to write a book about churches around the country. Going to a very large church, he spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign that read, "$10,000 per minute."

Seeking out the pastor, he asked about the phone and sign. The pastor answered that the golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven, and if he pays the price, he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches around the United States, he found more such phones with the same sign and the same explanation from each pastor. Finally, the man arrived in the great state of Texas. Upon entering a church, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: "Calls: 25 cents"!?

Fascinated, the man asked to speak with the pastor. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone, and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven, and that I could use it to talk to God.... But in 20 other churches, the cost was $10,000 per minute. Your sign says 25 cents per call. ...Why is that?

The pastor, smiling kindly, replied: "Son, you're in Texas now and it's a local call."


Christian Humor
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on
the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was
tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to
set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I
will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded. They did spreadsheets! They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power
went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their
computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the
past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate.
"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all
his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said,
"JESUS SAVES."


Sent from Mom--on a birthday card for a friend
You know you're getting older when someone asks if you're getting enough...
And you wonder if they're talking about sleep!