They Won't Take Yes For an Answer

We get people at our door about every five minuets wanting to convert us or sell something--same as everyone else. It's getting to the point of making me crazy. I suggested to Shawn that we should hang a sign on the door that states:

We have a religion, we have a charity, and no, we don't need our carpets cleaned.

(I should add that I absolutely do not wish to buy meat from the back of your truck)

We get a small group that has recently started a church and they are trying to make it grow. Good for you, but please remember that you've visited us before. "Are you saved? Do you know how to be saved?"

Yes, and I applaud you for doing what you are doing, however I have a church already.

Three hours later, they still don't seem to believe me and come back in two months.


Last night it was beginning to get dark. I was home alone and working on the computer. Two young men (from a different church) knocked on the door and our two dogs went absolutely crazy. The cockatiel shrieked incessantly and I could tell right away the white boy was a talker.

I had a cigarette in my hand when I answered the door, and I wouldn't open the screen door. I was in my jammies with no bra on and I didn't want to go outside just hanging out, you know. The white guy talked like a gangster (Yu know what am sayin' yo?) and never shut up for twenty minuets. The two actually started ragging on me for smoking.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Here's a little advice, if you want people to visit your church, don't attack them about their faults. Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing--I should be out there going door to door inviting people to my own church. However, if I were to do that I wouldn't go into litigation with the home owner. Don't be pushy. They call it pushy because you might push people away.

These guys were pushy. I was trying to be polite and I was agreeing with everything they said--I know it's a sin to smoke, I know it's wrong and I have to make that decision to quit. I know God can fix everything in my life. He's fixed me a lot in the past couple years. This is a battle I've struggled with for nearly half my life. That's part of Christianity though--the battles and struggles and knowing that God will keep you close in the midst of it all. It's up to me to put it into God's hands--I know this!

But did these guys move on? NO! Look, I know God will keep me safe but I am not going outside in the dark when I'm in jammies, home alone. I don't want to end up on the news as a victim of a being chopped into tiny pieces. It's nothing personal. You don't tempt God by jumping off a cliff and saying "He will catch me."

In the year 2006, you don't tempt God by going outside half dressed in the evening without a gun. HA HA (Oh lighten up, people! It was a joke)

Go, be fruitful. Tell it on a mountain! But take "yes" for an answer. And then move on. Don't talk so fast--I don't need your entire life story from birth till now. I get up at 4:30 am! It's nearly my bed time and I'm simply too tired to be heckled right now.

I look to my two Chihuahuas thinking, "Release the hounds!" They're not really scary, but they'll annoy you like you've never been annoyed in your life.